What the longest study on happiness taught me about humanity.
“Most of what we know about human life, we know from asking people to remember the past” says the director of Harvard Study of Adult Development, Robert Waldinger. In December 2015, Robert delivered a talk on the longest ever study on adult development. The lives of 724 men were studied for 75 years.
Without getting much into the profiles of the men studied, I would like to speak on the impact this study had on me.
With each line of the talk, I as the listener got pulled into wanting to uncover the one line that would sum it all. I was waiting for the crux of the matter. And then it came.
Good relationships keep us happier and healthier.
The above line had a huge impact on my thinking and how I looked at happiness. Most of us believe that more money and fame will make us happy. But does it really? Well according to Robert it certainly does not. On the other hand, good relationships make us happier and have a direct correlation with a long and fulfilling life.
The three big lessons that came out from the study were,
1. Social connections are really good for us
2. It’s not the quantity but the quality of our close relationships that matter
3. Good relationships don’t just protect our bodies, they protect our brains!
What does this talk have to do with my understanding of humanity? Let me try to simplify my thoughts and try to break it down for you easy as I can.
You see, I used to feel that the lesser privileged communities are the ones undergoing maximum suffering. While looking at it from a materialistic point of view, it may seem so, but the truth is far from that.
I have often observed on city roads, people in big luxury cars with expressions of gloom. And on the same roads people with nothing to their names, literally living on the streets with faces livened up with pure joy. In my own experience from shifting from a smaller colony to a society of high-rises, I have come to realize that people aggressively moving up the financial ladder tend to isolate themselves from being a part of the community, it becomes all about I, me and self.
This is neither wrong nor right.
People have a free will to choose and live the way they want. Fancy cars, expensive gadgets actually propel some to work harder and be more disciplined towards goals. Also, you could be someone who is both materialistic and have a great set of friends. According to this study though, it was found out that the pursuit of great, long-lasting friendships is what determines a good life. Good relationships add the right flavours to our life.
Robert also rightfully pointed out that relationships are hard to maintain. There will be ups and downs but if at the end of the day we have assurance of a few close people, people whom we can always rely on to take care of us, then we are leading a good life. A life that’s both enriching and joyful.
